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jr_havlan

My New Year’s Dump

By Monologue 4 Comments

This week: “Happy new year” or “shitty old year”?; Will 2021 be an awkward rebound year or America’s chance to have crazy make-up sex with itself?; 10 semi-random things we might actually be able to look forward to; And if 2020 was a music video, I think I found that video.
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My Holiday Dump

By Monologue No Comments

This week: The unspeakable horrors of yet another War on Christmas; Herr Donald was this close to becoming just another crazed, low-level, third world dictator; You get 600 dollars! You get 600 dollars! Every-body gets 600 dollars!; Trump’s Confederacy of Dunces increases its ranks yet again; How our president un-worked his ass on; And the surprising final stop on COVID-19’s “2020: Fuck The World” tour.
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Week of Dec. 14

By Monologue No Comments

This week: What’s fat and orange and worse than COVID?; How do Trump supporters live with themselves and how the fuck will we live with them?; Mitch and Vladimir sitting in a tree, c-o-n-c-e-d-i-n-g; Behold! The combination of church and state just as the Founding Fathers planned it; And anti-vaxxers now have a whole new reason to go fuck themselves.
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Week of Dec. 7

By Monologue No Comments

This week: More Americans than you think are dumber than you think; Is Donald Trump a terminator sent here from the future to destroy us or a virtuous and respectful man destined for sainthood? The answer may not surprise you; Lindsey Graham is dumb #FACT; Rudy Giuliani has COVID and nobody seems to give a shit, least of all Rudy Giuliani; And federally legalized weed – it might be just what we need to help get over 2020.
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Week of Nov. 30

By Monologue 3 Comments

This week: America recovers from celebrating a myth; Donald Trump’s way-too-long goodbye; ♬ Joe Biden has a middle name. It’s R-o-b-i-n-e-t-t-e. ♬ ; Is our nation’s political future really in the hands of Georgia?!; Where will you be on inauguration day?; And “Pardon Me!”: the new White House game show that’s sweeping the First Family.
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Hammadown (Chapter 7)

By Poker Story No Comments

Our next game might not be for a while because some a-hole named Corona Virus seems to want desperately to join us even though he knows full well that none of us want him there. So we’ll probably lay low for a while until he skips town or just stops being such a killjoy shithead.
But that is now and this was then. A new guy shows us how we should have been doing it all along; Dave Freed becomes “the cursed child”; And we all tell our favorite Jonathan Katz jokes.
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Week of Nov. 16

By Monologue No Comments

This week: The real-life NeverEnding Story that is the 2020 election; How best to describe a typical mpmp voter: let me count the insults; The call to vacate the premises is coming from inside the white house!; Are college football and sexual assault as disturbingly inseparable as they seem?; And Betsy DeVos: could she be the personification of why my online dictionary doesn’t have an antonym for “contribution”?
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Week of Nov. 9

By Monologue 3 Comments

This week: Trump doesn’t know the meaning of the word “concede,” not to mention a slew of other words; Our current president and Veteran’s Day go together like cookies and ass; Mississippi has a new flag, but they can’t seem to shake their old guard; It must be a cold day in hell, because Fox News is turning against the president; And our musical guest very politely requests that he be your back door man.
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Election Week Dump

By Monologue 5 Comments

This week: There’s a new president in town and he’s not a corpulent blowhard; A corpulent blowhard refuses to concede to the new president; Donald Trump isn’t the only intolerable, sub-human being who won’t be allowed in the White House soon; It’s pronounced “COMMA-la,” bitches; And several states take huge strides in making it easier to get the drugs we’ll need to truly recover from the past four years.
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Week of Oct. 26

By Monologue 7 Comments

This week: The Tampa Bay Rays “like to watch”; The COVID-era World Series champs dodge a late diagnosis; Our president doesn’t drink, but he sure knows how to pull an Irish Exit; Trump supporters are either too hot or too cold, but they’re definitely not “just right”; Is that misused COVID-19 response funds in your pants or are you just happy to see me?; And how Election Day could maybe be less of a quadrennial clusterfuck.
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