Welcome to my weekly collection of instantly
classic monologue-style jokes!

Welcome to my weekly collection of instantly
classic monologues! (aka "My Dumps")

Week of Feb. 8

By Monologue No Comments

This week: Let’s talk about the weather; If Black History Month happens but white people don’t acknowledge it, does it make a noise?; GOATs might be able to eat a tin can but they sure as hell can’t hold their liquor; And if knowing Donald Trump should have been convicted is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
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Week of Feb. 1

By Monologue No Comments

This week: What Groundhog Day reveals about human evolution; An in-depth look at Marjorie Taylor Greene’s unimaginable shallowness; A different kind of pillow fight; Another special appearance by the one and grossly Al Goldstein; And “Secretary Pete”! Sounds good to me.
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Week of Jan. 25

By Monologue 3 Comments

This week: Finally we can get on with the task of actually making America great again; What do 4-dollar-a-pop video game rentals and a Wall Street collapse have in common?; “That’s an executive order, son!”; A picture on a twenty tells a thousand words; There’s a reason you never see a “Gone Fishin'” sign on the door of a Subway sandwich shop; And, of course, assholes.
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The Final Trumpdown

By Monologue 4 Comments

This week: Profiles in ignorance: Trump supporter edition; Who’s more responsible – the lemmings or the lemming master?; “Rudy The Gross” cements his place in the most awful section of the history books; And my humble suggestion for Joe Biden’s first act as president.
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My New Year’s Dump

By Monologue 4 Comments

This week: “Happy new year” or “shitty old year”?; Will 2021 be an awkward rebound year or America’s chance to have crazy make-up sex with itself?; 10 semi-random things we might actually be able to look forward to; And if 2020 was a music video, I think I found that video.
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My Holiday Dump

By Monologue No Comments

This week: The unspeakable horrors of yet another War on Christmas; Herr Donald was this close to becoming just another crazed, low-level, third world dictator; You get 600 dollars! You get 600 dollars! Every-body gets 600 dollars!; Trump’s Confederacy of Dunces increases its ranks yet again; How our president un-worked his ass on; And the surprising final stop on COVID-19’s “2020: Fuck The World” tour.
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Week of Dec. 14

By Monologue No Comments

This week: What’s fat and orange and worse than COVID?; How do Trump supporters live with themselves and how the fuck will we live with them?; Mitch and Vladimir sitting in a tree, c-o-n-c-e-d-i-n-g; Behold! The combination of church and state just as the Founding Fathers planned it; And anti-vaxxers now have a whole new reason to go fuck themselves.
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Week of Dec. 7

By Monologue No Comments

This week: More Americans than you think are dumber than you think; Is Donald Trump a terminator sent here from the future to destroy us or a virtuous and respectful man destined for sainthood? The answer may not surprise you; Lindsey Graham is dumb #FACT; Rudy Giuliani has COVID and nobody seems to give a shit, least of all Rudy Giuliani; And federally legalized weed – it might be just what we need to help get over 2020.
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Week of Nov. 30

By Monologue 3 Comments

This week: America recovers from celebrating a myth; Donald Trump’s way-too-long goodbye; ♬ Joe Biden has a middle name. It’s R-o-b-i-n-e-t-t-e. ♬ ; Is our nation’s political future really in the hands of Georgia?!; Where will you be on inauguration day?; And “Pardon Me!”: the new White House game show that’s sweeping the First Family.
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