This week: An old friend brings some new buds. Eddie tells Eddie stories. The Pope’s last words? Brace yourself for the latest version of “Gross Subway Stories.” Questionable music choices are made. One lucky player gets paid off with 4 Aces. And cousinly love provides a special moment.
Dig it.
(Game Days: April 21, 2025)
“THE BOY IS BACK IN TOWN”
Old friend-of-the-EBPG, Jason Jercinovic, was in town from his bucolic Covid-resistant home-base of Stowe, Vermont. So, naturally, we got a game together.
And Jason came bearing a giant bag of gifts in the form of home-grown Vermont greenery that took two of us to actually hold up.
I actually ordered a ten year supply, but this’ll have to do.
In attendance were Jason, me, Eddie, Hank, Cockman, Jacob (Brother Cockman) and Matt (Cousin Cockman).
Matt was dealt the first Ace, meaning he’d be the first to deal, but he deferred to me because he was afraid we wouldn’t like the game he wanted to play. He’s still a bit new, so he didn’t remember that we always start by playing a round of “Dollar Bob,” more commonly known as Omaha.
Matt: “Oh. Okay. Then I’ll deal.”
And he proceeded to deal in the wrong direction.
Or what in his family is called “Counter cockwise.”
He made up for it later by not doing it again.
Eddie came to the table, as usual, with some crazy true-life stories.
This one was from when he was in high school. He was somehow in a position to hire Kool and the Gang for his prom. Granted, this was way back when “the Gang” was probably just two guys with kazoos, but still.
Pretty Kool.
Three weeks before the dance, they cancelled.
Not Kool.
Matt has not been shy about contributing humor, at one point claiming that the day before he died, the Pope said to his assistant…
“Meet with JD Vance? That’s the last thing I want to do.”
My daughter got home late from squash practice (you read that right) so I was up and down from the table making dinner for her. But I’d look at my cards and keep playing from the kitchen, and I won two hands in a row. You can’t learn that in some half-assed parenting book!
We had a pretty random, algorithm-selected playlist going, and it somehow ended up on a run of songs like “YMCA,” “Dancing Queen,” “It’s Raining Men.” I apologized to everyone, telling them that’s the last time I choose “Gay Essentials” on Apple Music.
For the second game in a row, we had to think for a second whether or not it was “okay to laugh,” but we decided to go ahead and laugh. It is, after all, the best medicine.
Hand ‘o Tha Night
The lucky player was yours truly.
Eddie regaled us with another could-only-happen-to-Eddie story.
The year was 1979. Margaret Thatcher was elected Prime Minister; the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan; Sony released the Walkman; and a youngish Eddie Brill was listening to the radio—WECB Rock 640, to be exact. The DJ announced a contest…
“Our 10th caller gets free tickets to see Neil Young at the Exeter Theater in Boston!”
Eddie called the station.
“Sorry. You’re our first caller.”
Eddie waited a bit and called. back.
“Sorry. You’re our second caller.”
Apparently, Bostonians at the time weren’t biting. Eddie waited a little longer and called back.
“Sorry. You’re our third caller.
Eddie: “Can I just have the tickets?”
“Fine.”
Turns out the concert was amazing.
Eddie being Eddie.
Jason being Matt.
Matt offered up another anecdote for our amusement.
He claimed to have read a story about a guy who was busted for having sex with a corpse… wait for it… on the subway. (As if “not on the subway” would have been more acceptable.) Apparently, some guy died on the R train, then this other guy walks into the car and, where most might flee in terror, he saw an opportunity. So, naturally, he took his dick out and went to work. Well, maybe not work. Safe bet this guy has trouble holding down a steady job. Anywhoooo, the way they found out was a security video that showed the whole thing. Matt then treated us to his impression of the guy who first watched the video…
“Is that guy dead? Oh, good. Here comes someone who will report it. (Pause) Oh, no… oh, no…”
And if you think that’s bad, imgine giving the eulogy.
The next morning, Jason sent me THIS CLIP of a Sam Kinison bit that Matt’s potential urban legend might be based on. Enjoy!
Most Jewish Moment ‘o Tha Night
Jacob was having a rough go when it came to winning, so he left before the showdowns.
Jacob: “That’s it for me. I’m going to leave in disgrace.”
(He takes the $1.75 he has left in chips and puts them in cousin Matt’s well.)
Jacob: “Happy Passover.”
Matt: “Oh! Gelt!”
Here’s hoping Jacob didn’t take the R train home.
THE SHOWDOWNS
(Small: 5 cards, all up. Big: 7 cards, all up)
SMALL: Cockman wins with Jack’s and 6’s.
BIG: JR completes his big night with a simple pair of Aces.
The next game will be when the next game will be.
Until that time…
Peace!
